I have food poisoning.
I have the flu.
My kid is sick.
Trouble with my car.
Someone is in the hospital.
I have a cold.
Tragedy in the family.
Doctor's appointment.
I have the runs.
I'm sick.
I had an allergic reaction to something.
Relative's funeral.
I got in a car accident.
I'm snowed in.
There was a death in the family.
I have a crazy migraine.
I need a personal day.
Emergency dental repair.
I need a mental health day.
Because I earned it!.
I'm selected for jury duty.
I'm dead.
My pet is sick.
My flight back into town got cancelled.
I have to meet with my kid's teacher.
The roads around my house are closed due to weather.
I locked my keys in my car.
I have a bladder infection.
I have lice.
I'm waiting for a plumber.
I'm moving.
I'm getting my wisdom teeth removed.
My sister/best friend is going into labor.
Someone tried to rob me during the night.
I have bad cramps.
I pooed in my pants on the way to work.
My toilet exploded.
Electricity went out.
Spring fever.
Already completed all of my tasks.
I lost my glasses.
I don't want to go to my shitty job today.
I won $500 million in the lottery, I quit!.
I have to drive someone to the airport.